We men just happen to have an oak tree swinging between our legs and growing bigger with a will as we age. Said oak tree cannot be harvested for lumber, but it has enough rigid magic to make grown women weep, wail and screech and can be persuaded to produce a liquid that feels oh-so-great as it leaves our bodies.

Now, the oak tree we are referring to here is a penis and there are several ways to make it extra happy, from sex and masturbation to urethra play, electro-stimulation, and sex toy usage. Yeah, there are loads of different sex toys that feel hella good on the dick, but we will leave the sex toy subject for another time and focus on masturbation and its health benefits for men, plus how penis plugs can help you beat your meat and cum like you got a cannon in your drawers that’s fully capable of the most impressive artillery barrage known to man!

Here it cums, fellas!

Health Benefits of Regular Masturbation

Masturbation, despite how graceless and tacky it might look and feel, actually has enough health benefits to make y’all swear to have your dicks permanently attached to your right hands and Vaseline by the ton nearby at all times! It used to be that if you regularly flogged your meat, you were told it could make you grow hair in strange places, shrink your brain matter or balls, get you addicted to slapping Vaseline into your right hand, become infertile, and the like. But that has been proven to be absolute bullcrap and just about every health professional has been lately waxing lyrical about the health benefits that come with taking your boner to the milking factory!

Here are the health benefits of regular masturbation, ye wanking wankers of the right-hand dick press republic:

• Reduces Prostate Cancer Risks: back in 2004, researchers found that guys who ejaculated at least 21 times each month reduced their prostate cancer risks by around 33%. That means y’all should wank and cum as much as possible and break records while at it! 
• Immunity Booster Extraordinaire: ejaculation leads to increased levels of cortisone and this hormone has important roles to play when it comes to regulating and maintaining your immune system. So, joyfully cum with a will all ye faithful! 
• Mood Enhancer: when you cum, the brain is flooded by feel-good chemicals like dopamine and oxytocin, with ejaculation and orgasm providing the biggest non-drug dopamine rush that the brain will ever feel. So, when you are down, rather than reach for a cold bottle of Pepsi, a tumbler of Kentucky sour mash or a vial of prescription medication, just unlimber and grease your artillery piece and see how much cumming happiness it has been storing up for you since! 
• Lets You Retain Your Hardy Nature: aging is an inevitable part of life and one of the things that happen as we age is that our muscles lose their tone and turn to tomato puree! The penis is a muscle and to retain its tone, it is recommended that regular sex or masturbation -3 to 5 times weekly- be performed. Yeah, if you fail to regularly use your oak tree via either sex or masturbation, for sure it’s gonna start falling like a rotten branch! 
• Stress Zapper: masturbation adroitly fights something omnipresent in modern life- stress. Yes, the act of cumming reduces your stress levels and that can help you see the funny side of the bad situation you are in. 
• Better Sleep: masturbation and orgasm lead to a flood of chemicals in the brain. Serotonin, prolactin, oxytocin, and others help deliver a high of the sort that a crack addict might crave. But after the high comes immense relaxation and sleepiness that’s sweet news to insomniacs. So, if you find yourself unable to sleep, rather than popping a pill, just let your right hand do what it is supposed to! 
• Makes You A Kinda Sexual Beast: if you are unable to last long in the sack, that could be due to a variety of reasons, like lack of practice or a tendency to get over-excited too soon. That kind of situation can be ameliorated by regular wanking, which will teach your artillery piece the proper way of behavior, hopefully tame it and potentially turn it into a long-lasting and cervix-smashing tool that will be making all the ladies on the block walk bowlegged all at once! 
• Skin Enhancer: ever heard of the post-orgasm glow? For sure it is a thing. So, when you wank and cum, increased blood flow to your skin opens up your pores and blood vessels and that leads to clearer skin and healthier hair. 
• It’s Good For The Heart and Brain: a recent study found that men who fucked once a month or less had a 45% higher chance of dying of cardiovascular disease than men who ejaculated at least twice weekly. Also, according to a 2017 study published in the Journals of Gerontology, frequent sex is usually associated with better cognitive and memory skills. Do you love your heart and want to be remembering your name and bank account details by the time you are 50? Then beat your meat more often.

How Penis Plugs Can Help In Masturbation

Wanking is not all that complicated. All that’s required is a functional right or left hand, plus some lube and the proper audio-visual content. But some prefer to enhance their meat-beating pleasures via the use of toys like sleeve masturbators, wands, and penis plugs and that’s both their right and business.

Now, let’s focus a bit on one of the simplest sex toys out there- the penis plug. Penis plugs are meant for urethral play and they are short and stubby motherfuckers that are designed to go into your urethra, while being fully capable of making the penis an astoundingly sensitive and pleasurable place. They are often mistaken for sounders, but the difference is that while penis plugs are usually two inches or so of surgical grade steel, sounders tend to be 8 inches and up and are meant to go all the way into the urethra and even the bladder. We guess the best way of putting it is to think of sounders as a more advanced version of penis plugs.

Penis plugs can help bring new and marvelous experiences your way and get you to fall in love anew with the theory and practice of self-pleasing. They are very simple to use, will provide decades of devoted service if properly looked after, and are a very wondrous alternative to the old-school method of slapping lube in your hand and taking your cock to wank town! Penis plugs can also help introduce you to the erotic universe that’s urethral play and be your visa to a new land full of excessive wanking happiness!

At TheChainGang, we have penis plugs in abundance and these works of art are exquisitely crafted and made with the highest grade of materials. Vibrating penis plugs are available too and these have been proven to be fully capable of triggering cum eruptions that show up on earthquake warning bulletins! Gotta wank? Then do it with a penis plug on the business end of your pecker and get your long-deserved key to a Cloud 9 mansion that’s filled with big booty thots!

Got something to get off your chest, fellas? Then come to the comment section please and have your say, while dodging a cum stream or two from all the wanking emperors out there!