Bosendorfer: I need help! I’m a gay male (bottom) and have started seeing a guy who has a Jacob’s Ladder piercing (4 bars.) Sometimes I can take it, but often I just can’t. I try to live by a “never complain, never explain” attitude but some days I just feel torn up during the process and afterward. Is there some way I can take it more easily? Am I being a giant puss wagon about this?! I want to see what I can do on my end first before I suggest removing it =/. I’m starting to really dig this dude and I just don’t want to dilute his love for kink with too much vanilla… Some people just don’t care for Häagen Dazs ¯\_(?)_/¯!
Sex with genital piercings is exciting and can bring pleasure to a completely new level. However, it can also be a somewhat tricky affair before you get used to it. This goes both to the person with piercings and their partner. It is therefore recommended to take necessary precautions that will ensure satisfaction for both partners.
Here, we will outline the basic safety measures as well as issues with discomfort. While sex with a pierced partner can be very enjoyable, it can also bring discomfort – and Jacob’s Ladder is one of the more extreme piercings to encounter as a receiving partner. We will offer some advice that will help to make the experience more comfortable. Ultimately, however, it is all down to agreement and communication between partners: nobody should feel pressured into enduring discomfort. That being said, there are some things you can do to make the experience more pleasurable.
First things first, let’s talk about safe sex and penis piercings.
Sex and Penis Piercings: Stay Safe
There are certain things to keep in mind if you wish to have sex with genital piercings. The number one thing is safety. Genital piercings do not prevent you from enjoying sex; in fact, they can make sex even more exciting and arousing. However, the jewelry itself may prove to be problematic for some people. Furthermore, a specific care has to be taken about condoms.
While genital piercings and genital jewelry do not prevent you to use a condom during sex (in fact, condoms are often highly recommended), it is important to choose a large enough condom that can accommodate piercing jewelry. Also, the jewelry worn has to be smooth and to fit nicely so it doesn’t tear the condom. It may take some trial and error until you find the best condom that suits your piercings perfectly, but it is possible to find the model and brand that will go great with your piercings. Because of trial and error approach, it is highly recommended for any man with genital piercings to try different condoms before engaging in an intercourse with another person. This is the only way to figure out which type of a condom suits you best and which ones are best to be avoided.
Also, another thing to keep in mind is lube. If you have genital piercings you may wish to apply lube on the inside of a condom. The amount of lube used should be enough to prevent the jewelry from tearing up the condom but also small enough not to make the condom slip off during intercourse.
Sex and Discomfort
Another common you may encounter is discomfort during sex. This is particularly true for receiving partners and not the owner of the piercings. For the owner of a genital piercing, the most critical time is healing. This is why it’s important not to have sex right after getting a new piercing done. The abstinence time varies depending on the piercing in question, but it is vital to stick to the advice your piercer gives you. Once it is safe to have sex with your new piercing, it is highly recommended to use condoms, at least for a while.
However, once this period is over most piercing owners will be able to proceed with sex without a problem. Sure, some adjustments and changes to sexual routine are to be expected, but you should not encounter problems. If these problems persist, it is advisable to consult your piercer or even a medical provider. You should be able to have sex with genital piercings. In fact, some piercings are specially targeted to make sex even more enjoyable. At worst, it should be a neutral change, but it should not prevent you from having sex.
Which brings us to the issue of receiving partners. Many partners report great satisfaction and enjoyment they get from their man’s pierced penis. Both men and women claim that having sex with a man with a pierced penis is a special experience that brings pleasure to a whole new level. That being said, it is not unheard of that sex may become uncomfortable for the receiving partner, especially if their man has multiple penis piercings.
The discomfort is often reported for anal sex. Being a receiving partner during anal sex can become uncomfortable or even painful. In the case of multiple penis piercings, the issue is even more pronounced, especially if the man has large gauge piercings or if the jewelry makes the penis particularly rugged or wide.
The good news is that there are some things you can do to make the experience more comfortable. However, it is important to talk to your partner and work together at overcoming this problem.
How to Make it More Comfortable?
Here are certain things that will make sex, particularly anal sex, more comfortable for the receiving partner. None of them is a magical cure, though: sometimes, they need to be combined to achieve the desired effect and sometimes it will simply not work completely. But they are helpful and can be used to make sex more relaxing and enjoyable:
- Use quality anal lube – and use plenty of it. As you probably know, good lube is a must-have for anal sex. If your man has a pierced penis, this is even more important. It is vital to use more lube than normally – jewelry and added girth to a penis will make penetration more difficult. In order to stay on the safe size, everything has to be lubed properly: the penis, jewelry and the receiving partner.
- Use anal toys before you go. It is often helpful to use large butt plugs or other anal toys before sex. It will make your body prepared and ready, so it will be easier for you to take your partner’s pierced penis. When using anal toys, make sure they are big enough to make a difference. Also, don’t forget to use plenty of lube!
- Be aroused. Probably the easiest way to overcome pain and discomfort is to be really aroused. Your partner and you should take enough time for you to be ready. Use toys, masturbate, touch each other – the opportunities are endless. Once you are completely excited and craving for more let him penetrate you.
- Go slowly. Your partner needs to understand that it’s impossible to simply shove his penis inside you. In the case of multiple penis piercings, such as Jacob’s Ladder, it may not even be physically possible for him to go fast. Take your time and go one piercing or one piercing pair at a time. Take some rest between piercings so your body is used to the feeling. After you are relaxed enough, he can go further and insert the new piercing pair. Do it like this until his whole penis is inside. It is vital to take your time – your body simply needs some time to stretch and accommodate these piercings. This is the only way to prevent discomfort.
- Use smaller jewelry. This one is for your partner. Make him use the smoothest jewelry he has. Ideally, the balls on the jewelry should be small enough not to hurt the receiving partner and also smooth enough not to cause discomfort. Also, it is important that the jewelry he wears is of a good size – it should not be too long or else the bars will stick out and make the jewelry move, which can cause further discomfort.
Whatever you do, it’s important to talk to your partner. You don’t have to mention pain and discomfort if you don’t want to, but you should be able to communicate your wishes. At the end of the day, both of you will enjoy sex more if you are relaxed and enjoying the experience, so taking these precautions should be beneficial for both of you.